In the 21st century world of teams, participation and total quality management, we hear a lot about “Walking the Talk.” Essentially, this means individuals, especially leaders and managers, make certain their behavior is consistent with their beliefs as reflected in the words they speak or write.
However, at the same time, there is a thread that runs through our society that suggests many of us might not be responsible for our actions if we are the “victims” of having been raised in a hostile environment, a broken home or as a result of some other external, societal influence over which we apparently have little or no control. Perhaps, we can resolve this dichotomy by reviewing what we might learn from psychology and business regarding our behavior.
In the 1980s, well-known psychologist Leo Buscaglia wrote the book, “Living, Loving & Learning,” to help inspire us to accept the challenge of life and profit from the wonder of love. Buscaglia stated strongly how we might realize our own path in life and assume responsibility for our choices and actions,
“… I must face my own shortcomings, mistakes, transgressions. No one can suffer my non-being as I do, but tomorrow is another day, and I must decide to leave my bed and live again. And if I fail, I don’t have the comfort of blaming you, life or God.”
As Martin Seligman, Ph.D., pointed out in his book, “Learned Optimism,” explanations for causes of behavior began to shift from the idea of people being pushed by internal drives or pulled by external events, toward the proposition that self-direction could better explain human actions. Simply put, he and other psychologists began to believe that each of us makes choices with regard to our individual expectations, preferences and decisions; i.e., we are in control of our own behavior. Seligman also reminded us that we have the freedom to choose whether we react optimistically or pessimistically to various situations that we encounter in life.
While psychology might not be your “cup of tea,” there are business writers who espouse similar thoughts about our behavior. Max DePree, former chairman of Herman Miller Inc., a firm that has been included among the top 25 firms of Fortune magazine’s most admired companies, commented in “Leadership Jazz” that every leader needs to find his/her “voice” and “touch.” A leader’s voice is the expression of one’s beliefs, while a leader’s touch demonstrates competence and resolve; i.e., his/her behavior espouses a personal set of values and beliefs. These behaviors are what others see and how they judge us.
DePree firmly stated that without action or principles, no one can become a good leader. He also observed that integrity is the linchpin of leadership and when evaluating a leader’s worth and success, “behavior is the only score that is kept.”
A popular author and lecturer for many years, Stephen Covey, gave us an interesting twist on the idea of being responsible for one’s own behavior. In his best-selling book, “The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People,” Covey devoted a whole section to the premise that we have the freedom to choose our actions. Discussing the first of his 7 good habits, “Be Proactive,” he breaks down the word responsibility into response and ability, by noting that highly proactive people recognize their own charge and skills at meeting the challenge. As Covey said, “They do not blame circumstances, conditions or conditioning for their behavior.” This is in contrast to reactive folks who are often affected by, or blame, their physical environment for how they are feeling and responding.
Well, you say, “So what?” We all know individuals who are inconsistent in the way they act and speak, who might occasionally blame others, and who are still seemingly successful. How do we explain their success given the aforementioned wisdom? Covey points out that while we can choose our actions, we do not choose the consequences of those actions. If we decide to be deceptive in business dealings, the consequences of that decision might vary according to whether we are caught; however, the natural consequences to our basic character are a fixed result. When we live in a way that allows our behavior to be in harmony with our principles, we experience positive consequences. But, when we violate our principles, negative consequence can result. An example of this, Covey noted, is when we fail to acknowledge a mistake.
